2013: Year of the Woman [Archive] - Bibles, Wheels, and Brains Forum

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Rose

01-08-2013, 07:57 PM

2012 was a tumultuous year of great achievements and horrible tragedies for women. Here are some of its biggest moments: A Year in Women (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/news/politics/year-women-notable-female-achivements-2012-malala-hillary-0). Women are inching ever closer to equality, but the statement made famous back in 1995 by Hillary Clinton: “Woman’s Rights are Human Rights” is still foreign to many men who think that a woman’s place is beneath that of a man and consequently deserve to be abused and denied an education. Globally, 1 in 3 women will be physically or sexually assaulted by men in their lifetime, these statistics are a black mark and a shame on the male gender. The violence against women has a variety of causes, but one thing is clear it needs to STOP! Women make up half the worlds population and give birth to the other half, consequently every male on the planet owes his life to a female, so why the oppression, violation and denial of human rights? There is no simple answer, but the place a solution needs to start is with the education of men. Men should be taught by other men that it is shameful to treat women in an abusive and degrading way, and anything done against another person without their consent is considered a violation of their human rights, even in marriage. There is never, ever any excuse or justification for any man to ever raise a hand against a woman except in self defense, yet the violence continues and the majority of men who have a voice to speak remain silent. For women to heal, and to thrive in this world, gender based violence must be stopped, and women must be given full human rights in all areas of life. A woman’s body belongs to herself and no one else.

In honor of Malala, Jyoti Singh Pandey, and all the women who have suffered violence, or lost their lives because of being a female, I would like to proclaim 2013 to be The Year of the Woman. What greater tribute could be given to all the women of history, then to declare to the men of the world that a year is being dedicated to acknowledging women as equals? If every woman stands up along side the men they love who are their equals and together they declare the equal rights of all humans, the world would change overnight. The world needs to wake up to the fact that women and girls are not the problem, they are the solution!

On February 14, 2013 a worldwide event is going to take place called One Billion Rising (http://onebillionrising.org/). On this day women from all over the world will rise up and dance to bring attention to the fact that 1 in 3 women suffer abuse at the hands of men, which means one billion women experience some form of violence because of their gender. There is hope, but every woman needs to rise up and make her voice heard, to break the chain of violence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fL5N8rSy4CU#!

2013: Year of the Woman (http://godandbutterfly.net/2013/01/09/2013-year-of-the-woman/)

Rose

01-16-2013, 01:48 PM

Eve Ensler is the organizer and founder of the world wide event called One Billion Rising (http://onebillionrising.org/blog/entry/read-eve-enslers-newest-monologue-rising), here is her latest monologue.

RISING
Written in Kerala for the women of India who lead the way

This could have been anywhere
And was
Mexico City
Manila
Mumbai
Manhattan
Nighttime men
waiting
like wolves
Drooling
for prey
behind
that single dimly painted door
paying nothing
a couple of dollars
or euros
rubies
or pesos
to have her
Enter her
Eat her
Devour her
and throw away her bones.

This could have been anywhere
And was
A Buddhist nun on a bus
Trying to stay dry for the night
A woman leader speaking out against
The repressive government
A young woman traveling with her boyfriend
One lost her voice
The other her following
The last one her life
This could have been anywhere and was
Pink wooden crosses
A stack of stones
Red wilting carnations
Empty chairs in a square
Ribbons flying in a sultry wind
I ask Anna Nighat Kamla Monique Tanisha Emily
Why Why
Porque Eran Mujeres
Parce qu'elles étaient des femmes
Because they were women
Because they were women
This could have been anywhere
And was
Where she got fired for being too beautiful
Fined for drinking after she was raped
A serious offer to marry her rapist
Got told it was legitimate but not forcible
This could have been anywhere
They do such a thing
When the girls go for fire wood
Step into the lonely man’s car
Drink a little too much at the college party
Wake up with her uncle’s fingers inside
Run from the screaming machete and guns
Be taken at sunrise
Get a bullet in the brain for learning the alphabet
Be stoned for falling in love
Be burned for seeing the future

I am done
Cataloguing these horrors
Data Porn
2 million women raped and tortured
1 out of 3 women
a woman raped every minute
every second
one out of 2
one out of 5
the same
one
one
one
I am done counting
And recounting
Its time to tell a new story
It needs to be our story
It needs to be outrageous and unexpected
It needs to lose control in the middle
It needs to be sexy and in our hips
And our feet
It needs to be angry and a little scary the way storms can be scary
It needs to not ask permission
Or get permits or set up offices
Or make salaries
It wont be recorded or bought or sold
Or counted
It needs to just happen
It is not a question of inventing
But remembering
Buried under the leaves of trauma and sorrow
Beneath the river of
semen and squalor
vaginas and labias
shredded and extracted
stolen
body mines
mined bodies
It is not about asking now
Or waiting
It is about rising

Raise you arm my sister my brother
Raise your one
Billion
Your one heart
Your one of us
I used to be afraid of love
It hurt too much
What never happened
What got ripped away
The rape
The wound
And love
I thought
was salt
But I was wrong
I was wrong
Step into the fire
Raise your arm
Raise your one
Billion
One
One
One
Rising.
Rising.
Rising.

Rose

01-17-2013, 01:09 PM

February 14, 2013 will be a day dedicated to the protection of woman and girls from violence, One Billion Rising (http://onebillionrising.org/blog/entry/a-reflection-a-dance-a-prayer-and-a-promise-to-keep).

A Reflection: A Dance, A Prayer and A Promise to Keep

By Carol Bebelle

It is so very interesting how we human beings handle uncomfortable truth. We forget. We prevent our combined knowledge from informing us of things too uncomfortable to consider. We take the edge off a hellacious day by collapsing into a drugged state or a hard-worked, bone-tired coma sleep. We keep busy. We look the other way. We misunderstand our intuition about these frightening things.

All of this contortion and confusion in pursuit of a desired peace-of-mind and a concession to things we feel we can't control — things that are often too terrible to give life to in words, thoughts, or dreams.

And then, a woman from New York — slight in stature, giant in reputation and accomplishment — named Eve Ensler walked on a stage in a New Orleans sports arena and asked the audience gathered to do two things. She introduced herself and asked: 1) “All of you who are personally victims of violence, please stand.” An unexpected number of silhouettes rose to be counted. I felt my heart pounding in anxiety and my eyes widening in surprise.

Then she asked, 2) "Those of you who know women who are or have been victims of violence, please stand." The rest of the arena, including me, in one rustling move seemed to rise to join the first group of those willing to take their place, their number in a sisterhood too large for our minds to embrace.

It was then that I knew that my convenient amnesia was cured. My unfocused nudges of instinct and vague pieces of stories had stumbled into an interpretation and big-picture truth that was hard to ignore and harder still to deny. I was face-to-face with a truth. Women were in danger everywhere in the world. No family, politics, government or religion was able, maybe even willing, to make the danger cease.

There we all stood, over 25,000 from around the world, who were rising, giving a living testimony of the urgent epidemic of violence against women across the planet. How could this be? How could we be so lethargic? How could we be so inactive and blasé—blasé about such a critical matter?

Answers to these questions would take books to explain. Said simply, it is because one half of the world believed that their suffering was deserved, acceptable or survivable, while the other half has, without the influence of torture or extreme distress, colluded with and normalized this terribly big lie which protects this awfully monstrous atrocity.

I could have known better years sooner though, if I'd let myself, because I work with Mama Gwen Richardson, a New Orleans woman warrior who tirelessly assists, coaches, advocates, and submits herself to the distressing task of hearing the stories of others’ misery and violation. She bears these sorrows and allows herself to be a contribution to the ending of this epidemic and the healing of those violated and wounded by this vicious cycle.

The work sometimes takes her joy. It sometimes casts a shadow over her life. But she knows that her burden, however heavy on whatever day, pales by comparison to the burden of rape, domestic violence, or torture. Gwen is one in a legion of women and men around the world who are choosing to be uncomfortable in their lives so that others can be reclaimed from hell and healed from the time and the wounds they sustained there.

The rest of us must make up our minds. Will we continue the personal deceptions? Will we continue to look away? Will we continue to normalize and trivialize abnormal, horrific, dysfunctional behavior, or will we take the opportunity to take a stand, each of us,to purge the world of this monstrous indignity to humanity—especially womankind.

V-Day is offering us such an opportunity. With One Billion Rising, like-minded and hearted people all around the world are agreeing to Strike, Dance and Rise! We are stepping out of our everyday worlds and shutting out everything else, as we dedicate a day to the protection of women and girls everywhere. In solidarity with them, we join millions to celebrate freedom, through dance, and to rise against the benign neglect and quiet acceptance of an intolerable atrocity too big to ignore.

On February 14, 2013, will you step out of your life and into the rising movement to end violence against women? Shut down the usual and join the unusual energy of liberating dance. Dance to your heart's content and dance till the sweat of your brow and the sound of your breath become a rising energy of spirit, love, solidarity, blessing and mantra that say to women and girls everywhere:

You are not alone,
We are with you.
We will make space for you
And time for you to heal there.
We will turn our laughter into prayers for you
Our contentment will be framed by your malcontent and suffering.
Our very breath will be a fluttering reminder that we and you are both committed to making life a good journey for all women and girls around the world.

Dear mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, lovers, grandmothers, aunties, nanas, nieces, and friends, we make this covenant for you and with you from a place of deep and abiding love sealed with a sacred and deep soul kiss.

David M

01-17-2013, 01:35 PM

Rose

01-17-2013, 06:15 PM

Hello Rose
I guess you think that prayers will be a waste of time. What we should pray for above all else as Jesus taught was the priority is for God's kingdom to come and when man's self rule not based on the requirements of God, will come to an end. We need Jesus to come back and rule in righteousness, because man left to carry on as he is doing is not going to bring the results you would like.

Hi David,
Prayers have many meanings depending on the context and ones religious background; it can mean to be in a state of prayerful meditation, or to keep someone in your thoughts and wish for their well being. Prayer is a universal language.

God will answer prayer, but prayers have to be asked in the right way (James 5:16); The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. What is effectual and is God going to listen to the unrighteous? While dealing with a person's physical needs, it is important we bring those we can into a relationship with God by which they will be saved. I guess you cannot do that anymore.

All the best

David

So are you saying that of the one billion (1 in 3) women worldwide who have suffered violence at the hands of men, none of them asked god in the right way to stop the violence? None of those one billion women were righteous enough for god to listen to their cries for help, so he just stood by an watched.

Take care,
Rose

David M

01-18-2013, 02:42 AM

Hi David,
Prayers have many meanings depending on the context and ones religious background; it can mean to be in a state of prayerful meditation, or to keep someone in your thoughts and wish for their well being. Prayer is a universal language.
I am not sure that prayer is a universal language but since you raise the point, there are things in communication that are universal across languages. Fora example, expressions of the face convey our emotions. A smile, a scowl, a laugh, to cry, and so on are ways we communicate our feelings and emotions.

In connection with prayer, i am reminded what the Apostle Paul writes (Romans 8:26);Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
It would seem that in prayer, our feelings are very important and our feelings/emotions might be what we are to understand by the word "groanings". The other way to understanding how prayer operates is that the Holy Spirit in whatever way that spirit operates is translated into a language which Paul describes as "groanings" and is the language in which our prayers are presented to God. I am interested to hear what others think about what we should understand from Paul's words.

So are you saying that of the one billion (1 in 3) women worldwide who have suffered violence at the hands of men, none of them asked god in the right way to stop the violence? None of those one billion women were righteous enough for god to listen to their cries for help, so he just stood by an watched.
I am not making such a conclusion. The Bible gives us statements to make us think. The subject of prayer is a topic we can discuss on its own. What is the use of prayer if prayers are offered to idols or gods which do not exist. Only prayer to a God who can act on our prayers seems to make sense. Unless prayer has some influence by telepathic means, then prayer might have the same force as faith. I think that "faith" has an innate positive power by which a person can get well for example and faith does not necessarily mean faith is God-based.

I am sure that amongst the one billion women on the planet there will be some who are righteous and whose prayers will be answered. Unless we know of specific examples we can cite, we have no evidence one way or the other. The verse I quoted has to speak for itself and it will require us to have a spiritually inclined mind to understand the message. I do not expect anyone who is skeptical or does not believe one word of God to see any value in anything written in the Bible and the verse I quoted will have no meaning to anyone who does not believe the Bible.

The fact that most people are not righteous gives me a reason why God does not answer the prayers of most people. Even a righteous person who prays does not have their prayers answered if prayers are not presented in a way acceptable to God. This is why the Lord's prayer is a model prayer to give us some guidance as to how we should structure a prayer and what might be considered to be the essential ingredients of a prayer. We might have a specific cause for which to pray, but that should not exclude praying to God without giving due reverence and thanks. For example, Jesus said; "hallowed be Thy name" and this was said at the beginning making this the foremost priority when praying. Why should we expect God to answer our prayer if we do not give Him the respect that is due? Why should God answer prayer of people who do not believe in Him. Why should God answer prayer of people who have little faith?

In the same way as we are to worship God "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:23) in the same way, we should come to God in prayer. There is much more to say, but that can be left to another time. If we believe in God, we should think about the way we pray and whether we pray aright. I do agree that prayer can be like a meditation and where Micah likens our life to "walking with God", then our prayers can be in the form of constant conversation with God . If we liken our journey in life as walking with God, that alone must say something about how we regard God and the relationship we have with Him.

All the best

David

Rose

01-18-2013, 03:37 PM

I am sure that amongst the one billion women on the planet there will be some who are righteous and whose prayers will be answered. Unless we know of specific examples we can cite, we have no evidence one way or the other. The verse I quoted has to speak for itself and it will require us to have a spiritually inclined mind to understand the message. I do not expect anyone who is skeptical or does not believe one word of God to see any value in anything written in the Bible and the verse I quoted will have no meaning to anyone who does not believe the Bible.

Hi David,
The reason the number one billion is used is because world wide it is estimated that one in three women will be abused by men in their lifetime, with half the world population being women (three and a half billion) the figure one billion is arrived at. You say that probably some of those one billion women will get their prayers answered, but that is false because every one of those one billion women has been abused which shows that NONE of their prayers were answered.
One billion abuses and one billion prayers equals no answered prayers.

The fact that most people are not righteous gives me a reason why God does not answer the prayers of most people. Even a righteous person who prays does not have their prayers answered if prayers are not presented in a way acceptable to God. This is why the Lord's prayer is a model prayer to give us some guidance as to how we should structure a prayer and what might be considered to be the essential ingredients of a prayer. We might have a specific cause for which to pray, but that should not exclude praying to God without giving due reverence and thanks. For example, Jesus said; "hallowed be Thy name" and this was said at the beginning making this the foremost priority when praying. Why should we expect God to answer our prayer if we do not give Him the respect that is due? Why should God answer prayer of people who do not believe in Him. Why should God answer prayer of people who have little faith?

In the same way as we are to worship God "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:23) in the same way, we should come to God in prayer. There is much more to say, but that can be left to another time. If we believe in God, we should think about the way we pray and whether we pray aright. I do agree that prayer can be like a meditation and where Micah likens our life to "walking with God", then our prayers can be in the form of constant conversation with God . If we liken our journey in life as walking with God, that alone must say something about how we regard God and the relationship we have with Him.

All the best

David

Even if I granted you the reason that most people don't get their prayers answered is because of unrighteousness, what about all the children of the world who are suffering with disease and hunger and their innocent cries are only to be healthy and fed. Jesus said that anyone who harms one of these little ones should be thrown into the sea and drown, so by god not answering their prayers he is harming them...

As for giving god his due reverence and thanks; if your prayers aren't answered why give thanks?

Take care,
Rose

David M

01-19-2013, 06:22 AM

Hello Rose

Hi David,
The reason the number one billion is used is because world wide it is estimated that one in three women will be abused by men in their lifetime, with half the world population being women (three and a half billion) the figure one billion is arrived at. You say that probably some of those one billion women will get their prayers answered, but that is false because every one of those one billion women has been abused which shows that NONE of their prayers were answered.
One billion abuses and one billion prayers equals no answered prayers.
When I said some, that might in fact be very few, and it would be wrong of you to say that none of those women's prayers were answered unless you could speak to everyone of them and find out.
I cannot limit God by confining Him to my own thinking, yet I have to try and give you an answer as best as I am able. Why should God be expected to help anyone who does not give thought, and respect to Him. We all benefit from His sustaining power knowing that at anytime God has the power to destroy this earth and everything on it. God does not have to do that for man is doing quite a good job on his own and could speed things along by exploding all the nuclear bombs that have been stockpiled. We ought to be glad that God has said he will not let the earth be destroyed and will destroy (eventually) those who are destroying the earth.
It is a fact that very few people (compared to the 3.5 billion living) give thought to God. As for innocent children, I do not limit God to resurrect children to be in His kingdom. I could use that argument to get over any difficulty in explaining why innocent children might not be saved. Innocence is the same as not knowing the law or being held accountable to the law. God is selecting for Himself a people who are faithful and come to Him in spirit and in truth. We have to ask ourselves the question and be able to give the correct answers. For example, do innocent children know God? Do they have faith? Do they know what the truth is? When you do not know what you do not know, you cannot possibly miss what you do not know about. Therefore will anyone miss having eternal life if they do not know about it? When you have honestly answered these types of questions, you might have your answer and understand things from God's perspective and not from the human perspective.
If someone goes through life with no thought to God or doing what He requires and not giving Him honor for the life they have, why should God answer their prayer in times of difficulty it they suddenly pray as a last resort? I am reminded of the fifth and last verse of the following poem:

(Poem #69) There is no god, the wicked sayeth

"There is no God," the wicked saith,
"And truly it's a blessing,
For what He might have done with us
It's better only guessing."

"There is no God," a youngster thinks,
"or really, if there may be,
He surely did not mean a man
Always to be a baby."

"There is no God, or if there is,"
The tradesman thinks, "'twere funny
If He should take it ill in me
To make a little money."

"Whether there be," the rich man says,
"It matters very little,
For I and mine, thank somebody,
Are not in want of victual."

Some others, also, to themselves,
Who scarce so much as doubt it,
Think there is none, when they are well,
And do not think about it.

But country folks who live beneath
The shadow of the steeple;
The parson and the parson's wife,
And mostly married people;

Youths green and happy in first love,
So thankful for illusion;
And men caught out in what the world
Calls guilt, in first confusion;

And almost everyone when age,
Disease, or sorrows strike him,
Inclines to think there is a God,
Or something very like Him.

-- Arthur Hugh Clough

Even if I granted you the reason that most people don't get their prayers answered is because of unrighteousness, what about all the children of the world who are suffering with disease and hunger and their innocent cries are only to be healthy and fed. Jesus said that anyone who harms one of these little ones should be thrown into the sea and drown, so by god not answering their prayers he is harming them...
Is not God harming the children, it is man who is harming these children. It is because nations and societies are not helping each other as they have the means to. I know there are those charitable organizations which are doing good works and this is a fraction of what needs to be done. Under man's rule and with all the conflicts that take place as a result of man's rule, it is man to blame. God has said that He will not let this continue and sadly it is only a few people who know what God is saying and who believe Him and His promises for the future.

As for giving god his due reverence and thanks; if your prayers aren't answered why give thanks?
As I have already said, we can thank God for the life we have and above this we can give God thanks for the eternal life He is offering us. It is possible to give God thanks long before you have need to call on God to answer our prayer.

I think it is important we ask God aright and putting our own requirements last is where our own priority should lie. Our prayers should be for the good of others and not for ourselves only and in anything we ask of God it should be asked with the proviso; "God Willing". Since God knows the true circumstances and the intents of people's hearts, we should pray more for other people than ourselves and requesting God to bless them and give them an answer of peace to that which they have need. When a person is old and at the end of life, it is futile to expect God to restore them to full health and strength and expect them to recover. It is best to ask God to spare that person pain and suffering and grant them their wishes and be relieved of pain and suffering, even if that means a quick death.
As for abused women, you would do better to pray for a woman you know is abused and who God can help. If you are righteous, then your prayers can be expected to be acted on more than the woman who might only pray out of desperation. Maybe, if the woman vows to serve God if he answers her prayer and God knows the woman will do what she says, then He will answer her prayer. These are the things we do not know about a person and God does. You expect God to act first when you have not shown that a person is worth having their prayers to an unknown God and who in God's sight are not worth saving. How can you know better than God, when God can read people's minds and know their heart, when you cannot?

Think about Proverbs 3:5 and apply it Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

All the best

David

Rose

01-19-2013, 10:36 PM

Hello Rose

When I said some, that might in fact be very few, and it would be wrong of you to say that none of those women's prayers were answered unless you could speak to everyone of them and find out.

Hello David,
I can be certain that every woman who has been abused did not get her prayers answered because no one wants to be abused.

Is not God harming the children, it is man who is harming these children. It is because nations and societies are not helping each other as they have the means to. I know there are those charitable organizations which are doing good works and this is a fraction of what needs to be done. Under man's rule and with all the conflicts that take place as a result of man's rule, it is man to blame. God has said that He will not let this continue and sadly it is only a few people who know what God is saying and who believe Him and His promises for the future.
It is not man who causes children to be born with birth defects or sickness and disease, neither does he cause starvation because of lack of food due to famines. If god could help these children yet does nothing then he is to blame, just as you say societies are to blame for not helping each other.

As for abused women, you would do better to pray for a woman you know is abused and who God can help. If you are righteous, then your prayers can be expected to be acted on more than the woman who might only pray out of desperation. Maybe, if the woman vows to serve God if he answers her prayer and God knows the woman will do what she says, then He will answer her prayer. These are the things we do not know about a person and God does. You expect God to act first when you have not shown that a person is worth having their prayers to an unknown God and who in God's sight are not worth saving. How can you know better than God, when God can read people's minds and know their heart, when you cannot?

Think about Proverbs 3:5 and apply it Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

All the best

David

What good would it do for me to pray and ask god to help an abused woman when she herself gets no answer? You make your god sound like a petty, arrogant tyrant who will only answer the prayers of those who vow to serve him.

Take care,
Rose

David M

01-21-2013, 08:38 AM

Hello Rose

Hello David,
What good would it do for me to pray and ask god to help an abused woman when she herself gets no answer?
Under the present circumstance in which your faith in God is dead, then there does not seem to be much point.

You make your god sound like a petty, arrogant tyrant who will only answer the prayers of those who vow to serve him.
God will answer those who pray in faith and in sincerity and in truth to Him. That is not arrogant. That is the requirement of God. Why should man expect God to lower His standards? Man has been told what the standards are and it is man's fault if he does not comply.

God has told man what God hates and what is an abomination to Him so if a person wants to continue to do abominable acts, then they reap the results of their abominable acts and the judgment of God also.

God works to the highest standard to which everyone (except Jesus) fails to meet. That is why the sacrifice of Jesus was necessary to cover the imperfection of those who are righteous but not perfect.

Righteousness is the key to understanding the requirements of God and the way in which God judges. I will have more to say in another thread as righteousness is the key to understanding the morality of humans and of God. I have been looking at this subject this morning and can see that the greatest perfection possible is to lead a life which is totally righteous. Even if we cannot attain that, the intention and the constant trying will lead to a better society than we have at present.

All the best

David

Rose

01-30-2013, 01:02 PM

If men would take the words on this video to heart the violence against women would stop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj7Zw4P8LPo&feature=player_embedded

The Man Box and the Cult of Masculinity (http://onebillionrising.org/blog/entry/the-man-box-and-the-cult-of-masculinity)
by Derrick Jensen

The man box is full of proof. Except that there is no man box, the man box can never be filled, and real men don’t need proof.
Let’s start with Abraham and Isaac. You know the story. God tells Abraham to slit his child’s throat. Abraham ties up his son, raises the knife, and at the last moment God says it was a test. End of story. Lesson? Abraham shows, by his willingness to violate his child, the proof of his worth. And Isaac learns that his father was willing to kill him rather than act against the cult of masculinity, against the rules of the man box.

There are many rules of the man box, even though there is no man box, and there are no rules. Why call it a box when it’s the way things are? And why call it a rule when it’s who you are?

Rule 1: There is no man box.
Rule 2: There is no box but the man box, and thou shalt have no other boxes before it.
Rule 3: That’s the way things are.
Rule 4: That’s who you are.

So I’m in a restaurant, and I overhear one guy say to another that he’s in pain. The other responds, “Suck it up. When are you going to quit being such a woman?”
So yes, I understand that men are taught to not feel. Yes, I understand that the cult of masculinity is all about not feeling. I understand that must be hard. But honestly, I don’t give a shit about understanding the emotional state of members of the cult of masculinity, except insofar as that understanding might help stop them. It’s a bit late in the game to be worried about the feelings of perpetrators.

The ones I care about are their victims, because the man box isn’t about putting men in a box, it’s about putting everyone else in a box, the box of other, of less than, of trophies, the box of the violable, the box of targets, the box of victims, the box of the violated, the box of proof of the men’s own manhood.

Have you ever done the math on how many women who are alive right now have been raped? There are almost seven billion people on the planet, so there are about 3.5 billion women. About one in four women is raped in her lifetime, and another one in five fend off rape attempts. So more than 800 million women living today will be raped in their lifetimes. Let’s say half of those have not yet been raped. So 400 million women living now have been raped.

And another now.
And another now.

This also means, among many other things, that unless a few men are excruciatingly busy, there are a lot of rapists out there, a lot of members of the cult of masculinity, a lot of men who adhere to the rules of the man box.
But you already knew that.

But of course there is no man box, and there can be no man box, because if there were a man box, that would mean there’s something outside the man box, and there’s nothing outside the man box because there can be nothing outside the man box, and there can be nothing outside the man box because there must be nothing outside the man box.

Because if there were, well, there isn’t, and can’t be, and mustn’t be.

Because if there were, that would mean members of the cult of masculinity aren’t as omnipotent—as completely potent—as they must be. And also because if there were, why would any victims put up with this shit?

So there must not be a man box, because everything is part of the man box.
That is, everything is violable. And everything must be violated.

Rule 5, which is actually Rule 1, which is actually the only rule there is: I exist only insofar as I violate you.
But of course rule 5 does not exist. Nor does rule 1.

The other day I saw an astronomer saying why he thought it was important to explore Mars and other planets: “It will,” he said, “answer that most important question of all: Are we all alone?”

I have an even more important question: is he fucking crazy?
No, just a member of the cult of masculinity.

Did you know that 200 years ago there were flocks of passenger pigeons so large they darkened the sky for days at a time? And flocks of Eskimo curlews so thick that ten, fifteen, twenty birds would fall to a single shot? There were so many whales in the North Atlantic they were a hazard to shipping, and there were runs of salmon so thick they would keep you awake all night with the slapping of their tails against the water. And he asks if we are alone?

Only if you’re a member of the cult of masculinity, in which case you are of course alone, with other members of your cult, because you have declared yourself to be the only one who matters, the one who does to as opposed to everyone else, to whom it is done.
Did you know that this culture is driving two hundred species extinct each and every day? Did you know that stolid scientists are saying the oceans could be devoid of fish in fifty years?

And do you know why?

And did you know that the world used to be filled with thousands of vibrant human cultures? And that human cultures are being driven extinct at an even faster relative rate than nonhuman species?

And do you know why?

The man box is full of women. It is full of passenger pigeons. It is full of whales. It is full of indigenous humans. The man box is full of the entire world.

But the man box isn’t full, because the man box—which does not exist—can never be full.
The psychiatrist R.D. Laing famously asked, “How do you plug a void plugging a void?”

That’s the question, isn’t it?

But of course it isn’t the question because men don’t have a void, and if they did have a void they certainly wouldn’t plug it with a void.

Someone once told me that any hatred—or maybe any void—felt long enough no longer feels like hatred, but rather like religion, or economics, or science, or tradition, or just the way things are.

With all the world at stake I need to speak plainly. The problem is that within this patriarchy, identity itself is based on violation. Violation becomes not merely an action but an identity: who you are, and how you and society define who you are. Within this patriarchy men’s masculinity defines itself by identifying others—any and all others—as inferior (which is why those stupid fucking scientists can ask “Are we all alone?” as they destroy the extraordinary life on this planet), and as being therefore violable, and then violating them. For men under this patriarchy, these acts of violating others are how we become who we are. They validate who we are. They then reaffirm who we are, as through these repeated acts of violation we come to perceive each new violation as reinforcement not only of our superiority over this other we violated but as simply the way things are.

So without this identification of others as inferior, without this violation, we are not. We are a void. And so we must fill this void, fill it with validations of our superiority, fill it with violations. Thus the rapes. Thus the violation of every boundary set up by every indigenous culture. Thus the extinctions. Thus the insane belief in an economic system based on infinite growth despite the fact that we live on a finite planet. Thus the refusal to accept any limits on technological progress—more properly termed technological escalation, as it really involves an escalation of the wielders’ ability to control and violate at a distance—or on scientific “knowledge.” Thus the sending of probes to penetrate the deepest folds of the ocean floor. Thus the bombing of the moon.
What makes this problem even worse is that because there are always those who have yet to be violated, and because this violation isn’t really solving the needs it purports to meet—it’s a void plugging a void—this drive to violate is insatiable.
This culture will continue to violate, until there is nothing left to violate, nothing left.

So what is at stake in this whole discussion is life on this planet. This cult of masculinity must not merely be left, and must not merely be exposed. It must be destroyed, or it will continue to violate its way to the end of all that is alive.

But before we can leave this cult we must understand that it is not all that is. That there is a cult of masculinity, and there is a man box, and you can leave them both. Burn this into your heart: this imperative to violate is not natural. It is cultural.

And we must resist every effort by the abusers, by the violators, to “naturalize” this drive to violate. For this is what abusers, violators, must do. They must attempt to convince themselves and everyone else that their way is the only way, that there is no other way. They must convince themselves and everyone else that not only is there nowhere outside the cult of masculinity, nowhere outside the man box, but indeed there exists neither a cult of masculinity nor a man box.

There is only this one way of life, which is not just a way of life because it encompasses all that is or ever was or ever will be. It is everything.

They say.

But they are lying, to themselves and to you. Even if they have an entire culture to back them up, they are still lying.
We must never forget that. There is a cult of masculinity, and there is a man box, and we can leave them. We can not only leave them. We can destroy them. We must. With all the world at stake, we must.